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I've Invented Something That Mostly Works!
These past three or four months I've had a strong desire to invent something; been trying to think up something that everybody could benefit from, regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, or wh… -
One: A Bit Disturbing and Puzzling; Two: Immensely Embarrassing
Something very horrible and embarrassing happened to me today. But I, with my grapefruit-sized balls (courage), am going to "bare all," as they say. Before I tell you that story, though, I must first tell you a sl… -
I'm So Modest, So Wise
And funny, too. Check this out--this was my response to someone who said "I don't give a fuck" to me: "Well, that's good that you don't give a fuck; not one single, solitary fuck. Fucks should not be given, i… -
The Unrealized Luxury in Holding Babies: A Short Essay on Breath and Self-Awareness
The good thing about babies is that they can't tell you when you have bad breath. Most people, I think, do not consciously realize this luxury they have when holding babies, the luxury of not having to be self-cons… -
I Met a Girl
So I'm at this festival at Reston Town Center (hereon referred to as RTC). It's around 8:45 in the P.M. or somethin', and my mom's dancing at the bandstand with her new friend/boyfriend or whatever the heck he is. … -
My Opinion on Internet Surveys and MySpace girls
This is my opinion of two things: Internet surveys that ask the same questions, and 95% of the females on MySpace who answer those surveys. (Xanga girls--you're not exempt from this!) [Commence satirical observati… -
My Second Return and a Disturbing Photo
So I'm back again. Now I'm gonna explain the photo below: A lady I know on MySpace sent me a picture of a flowerpot. In the flowerpot is dry dirt and weeds and a little rock with "HOPE" engraved on it. I thou… -
What is your worst dating experience?
When she pulled out her penis. Hoo boy, it doesn't get worse than that. I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too! -
I Just Pooped
So I just pooped for the first time in four days. It was like giving birth, I'm tellin' you what--not only because it was huge and painful, but because I felt an immediate bond with it the moment it came out, what … -
The Impromptu Poem I Wrote for, and Read to, a Stranger at the Movie Store
Beautiful-girl alert! Beautiful-girl, people! Holy cow, beautiful girl. A little tall, yes, but boy! how pulchritudinous she was! Here's how it went down: I was at Hollywood Video, there to see if they had …
BecauseIamDonnieDarko
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- Name: Chris
- Country: United States
- State: Virginia
- Metro: Manassas
- Birthday: 2/25/1988
- Gender: Male
- Member Since: 3/8/2005
Recent Weblogs
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MARXIST HEALTH CARE BILL PASSES
Oh no. Oh good Lord, help this country. The new Ma... -
Pro-Abortionists Destroyed by Their Own Logic
I was over on Revelife th... -
I've Invented Something That Mostly Works!
These past three or four ...
