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I've Invented Something That Mostly Works!
These past three or four months I've had a strong desire to invent something; been trying to think up something that everybody could benefit from, regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, or wh… -
I Just Pooped
So I just pooped for the first time in four days. It was like giving birth, I'm tellin' you what--not only because it was huge and painful, but because I felt an immediate bond with it the moment it came out, what … -
The Vomit on My Bed: The Thorn in My Side
Adult Swim last night. Watched it, see? It was funny. I like it, see? Alright, enougha that. Anyway, I went downstairs to my room after my shows were over (around 2:30 in the morning, I think). I then pac… -
The Scariest Thing One Can Possibly Go Through
I pooped about twenty minutes ago and finished cleaning the mess off the floor about five minutes ago. (By the way, just for the record, it was as wide as an old-fashioned glass Coke bottle. I think you know what … -
My Hypothetical Tail: Why I Would Make the Perfect Dog
Dogs have tails. I do not. Instead of a tail, I have a butt crack. And at the very top of my butt crack, it seems as though I have muscles. Why does it seem like I have muscles? Well, first I must e… -
The Poo Sessions: A Story from My Past
I just read a comment that AreYouThereGodItsMeEmily left me a comment in which she described how her cat ate some tinsel, and at one point there was a ten-inch tinsel-strand hangin' from the bung o' the cat. Which… -
The Destruction of My Bedroom
But first I'd like to mention that I just had me some fourthmeal. Mm-mmm! (Taco Bell, for the laymen.) Seriously, why do they call it fourthmeal? Retards. My bedroom. Total chaos. Awful. And smelly. Th… -
The Eight-Hour Renter
It was fascinating: my dog just threw up his breakfast, and now he's re-eating it. Long story short, a 26-year-old lady moved in with us last night very suddenly. And with equal suddenness, she moved out this … -
On the Toity
Note: If you do not like toilet humor, nor wish to learn of my wiping experience, please stop reading now. So I was on the toilet just a moment ago. Ah, yes, you think, the Porcelain Potty, the Cold Throne, the Grea…
BecauseIamDonnieDarko
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- Name: Chris
- Country: United States
- State: Virginia
- Metro: Manassas
- Birthday: 2/25/1988
- Gender: Male
- Member Since: 3/8/2005
Recent Weblogs
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MARXIST HEALTH CARE BILL PASSES
Oh no. Oh good Lord, help this country. The new Ma... -
Pro-Abortionists Destroyed by Their Own Logic
I was over on Revelife th... -
I've Invented Something That Mostly Works!
These past three or four ...
